The Song of Songs: An Exalted Love

The Song of Solomon was not simply about how a marriage should be- for Solomon had hundreds of wives- nay, this poem exalted the One. This relationship was sanctified… it had a very different energy than the others, which leads me to believe that this story exemplifies the twin flame journey.


This morning I was listening to yet another reading of the twin flame journey: I admit… I subscribe to the channel. Eeek! Now, I get that most of the time, tarot is just manipulation of the mind, but as I am also a keen observer of how the mind works, I am all for this experiment into seeing how “real” or fake it actually is… It’s uncanny how accurate it can be, btw! Anyway, so I said to myself, “I need to break from the videos and get back in touch with the Source! I need to get into the Word and find out my direction on my life’s journey.”

[Insert “the day” unfolding… friendships, parenting, the beach, blah blah blah, dinner, more friends… I am blessed. Truly.]

Finally, I am at a point in my day to sit and read the Bible. Aaahhh, relief! Remember! I had set my intention or asked the question earlier in the day…

I open my Bible, or rather, it is as if it falls open… to The Song of Solomon.

I know it well. It has been referred to as the only “R-rated” book… once threatened to be omitted from the Jewish canon… Anyway… I’ve always been thrilled to read a good love story: The hopeless romantic that I am. So when I was guided to it, there was no question that this short poetic piece would be my focus.

The twin flame journey had been on my mind… a lot! For those who know what it means, I have surrendered. This man has taught me unconditional love and I am grateful… but also patient and at peace with the path on which God is leading me. Therefore, with my mind where it was, and because I wrote The Love Stories about the original formation of twin flames, I thought it appropriate to just see- with my curious mind- if other love stories were filled with clues that foster the TF concept and support our experiences.

Spoiler alert! It does. Let’s break it down:

Alright, so we all know that Solomon was a stud! By the end of his reign, he had thousands of concubines and wives. I mean, come on! What do you even do with that many? Apparently, many of the wives were due to political agreements, but whatever… he had groupies… for sure! He also had a vast kingdom (that split into the north and south kingdoms after he died) and a boatload of riches… But another interesting point is that he is known to be the wisest man to ever have lived. Wow! What a title! I’m not gonna lie: If I had to choose a thousand men at my beck and call, money out the wazoo, or to be deemed the wisest woman to ever live… I would choose door number three. Although, to think of it…. that would be a very lonely place. It’s kind of heartbreaking actually. Nevermind, I choose money…

Which brings me to the poem. We’ve established a bit of context: Rich dude with lots of chics is quite lonely because he is so far off from other people’s cognitive perception and perspective. He’s got- at this point- over 140 women adoring him… and then…. He meets her.


It begins with intensity. Right off the bat, she speaks of immense desires for him (not to him, yet). Her and the other virgins are waiting for his arrival and they all dote and ogle over him. Yet she is different from the others and knows it. She expresses a bit of insecurity because her brothers made her tend to the vineyards. In other words, she had a dark tan or was black. She felt like she shouldn’t be admired because she hadn’t tended to her complexion: “Don’t look upon me…” (Challenge: Shame). Already, she is acting as a typical Divine Feminine (DF) who initiates this cat-and-mouse game. There is already “a reason” why they “can’t be together.” However, she was still quite beautiful and the other women in her company at the time were jealous and contributed to the thoughts of “What are you even doing here?” (Challenge: Feeling unworthy).

He knew- upon seeing her among all the others- that she was indeed different. He immediately propped her up on a pedestal likening her to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots: She was the Divine Feminine. She knew it too. She sensed that her love was pure whereas the others’ love was superficial (a lily among thorns) and that he was different from all the other men she had met (an apple tree among all the other trees in the woods). This connection touched her to the core- Her soul loved him. (Confirmation: deep, intense, soulful connection).

Then BAM! The tether is set… when they gaze into each other’s eyes. Several times in the book, it repeats how their eyes were of dove’s eyes: gentle, kind, comforting to look into… But also (as marklake.org stated), a dove’s eyes are narrow, making it only possible to focus on one thing: Each in the poem only has eyes for the other. Three times it repeats this phrase about the connection of the eyes. On the twin flame journey, it is known that the soul recognizes itself through the eyes and thus begets the magnetism (Confirmation: The notorious TF eyes).

The Shulamite woman and Solomon speak words of love to each other, even planning how their future will look. They just know that they will be together until the end (Confirmation: Knowing, feeling “at home”), so they feel emotionally safe to envision their future. (Yeah, how many of us have done that with our twin flames, even if we knew it couldn’t be possible for a long time due to karmic relationships). Yet still, she feels insecure about her complexion (Challenge: Self-Worth) and she is hesitant to go “hang out” with his friends: She wonders if she will fit in. But once there, she realizes that “He brought me [here] and his banner over me is love.” He made it known with all his friends that she was his! He was proud that he could show her off. He was committed, dedicated… and she reveled in this ownership of mutual love. (You own me. “You own me.” And we’re okay with that). This public act of his- his banner of love for all to see- gives her the security she needs to just melt… to fall completely head over heels for him. She learns that it is safe to love: That he will catch her when she falls (in love)! “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me” (Confirmation: Feeling lovesick, it all happens so fast).

Then, the verse that is repeated several times is addressed to all the other women: Leave us! She says in confidence and purity: She knows her place in his heart. In essence, the verse is saying, “Let love take its natural course. Let the divine unfold this plan.” A reminder that we often need on this journey!

The verse also marks the beginning of an exhausting rollercoaster of emotional upheaval and restructuring of the soul!

Although it isn’t directly stated, the scene ends with a separation (Challenge: Runner). It doesn’t say why she left, but it does reference the vineyards and the season as being reasons… that are now moot. Her excuses are gone and he wants her to return. This is the point where other men would call it quits, but he feels the connection too and goes after her. Accepting her, despite her insecurities and need to run away.

There is an implied Winter and the poem resumes in Spring as Solomon frantically seeks her out in her countryside, begging her to come back to be with him (Challenge: Chaser). These verses relate to the post-Dark Night of the Soul phase. The DNS is where the lovers face their darkness, uncover what triggered them, and resolve internal issues. It is the restructuring into a oneness with their lover. Initially, she feels hopeless, like she will never measure up, and wonders, “How could he ever love me? He is so wonderful and I am so…..” And so she sulked and fell into despair.

Make note of the references to roe (gazelle) and hart (male deer/stag) throughout the text: Stags (and bees) have been thought of as signs of union. But when he returns for her, she still responds with insecurities: She knows that he has seducers that will attempt to ruin their love (Like foxes that dig up the vineyards, so too will the Daughters of Jerusalem attempt to take his love… so she thinks). She doesn’t want to compete with them (Challenge: Other women are her trigger). She wants monogamy but he is a notorious polygamist. She would rather he live in the country with her where those other women wouldn’t be around (Challenge: Lack of trust; desire for isolation to “protect” relationship). She is not ready for union.

We find that Solomon returned to the city without her: Monogamy must have scared him! So he bolted! (Challenge: Runner; Separation). In her dream (another part of her Dark Night), she searches for him and cannot find him (Challenge: Chaser) (Confirmation: Establishing 5D connection through dreams). This startles her so much that she leaves for the city at night to find him. A watchman tells her where he is at and she goes to him. When she finds him- with the other women- she clings to him and again tells the other women to leave them alone! (Challenge: Ego; Out of fear this time). She has finally returned and is “ready” to be by his side. She again claims ownership of her man.

The next section of the poem describes the wedding procession and when Bathsheba (his mother) “gives him away.” Solomon has taken great care in making the event a public spectacle, especially for all the other wives and concubines. He is setting his DF apart from the others (Confirmation: Sanctification of DF). He even notes that her teeth are like sheep… where “every one bear twins…” meaning that each tooth had its pair, mirrored, perfect mate. He also refers to her breast as twin gazelles feeding on the lilies. (Confirmation: repetition of “twins”).

The first time he told her of her beauty, he spoke in kingly terms (e.g., Pharaoh’s horses, jewels, gold) but now he speaks (as one commentary put it) in terms that would be appreciated by a simple country girl (e.g., pasture animals, fruits). This shows his growth as the Divine Masculine (Confirmation: Growth, empathy). He wants to be by her side. Yet still she tries to run away again, stating she wants to meditate. Each time she runs, he may “run” in turn to be with his many other women, making it seem like he is the unemotional runner. (Challenge: Constant switch of who is runner and chaser; back-and-forth; up-and-down; the waves).

But this time, he pulls her in and satisfies her insecurities by again stating how he feels she is perfection. He has fallen deep in love with her and his passions are again rising for her. He expresses to her the same words she expressed about him to the Daughters of Jerusalem in the very beginning (Challenge: Unbridled passions) to evoke a once-felt excitement for the relationship. She continues the foreplay to let him know that she is ready to consummate the marriage. After their sexual union (note the reference to honey and honeycomb- i.e., the bee is a sign of nearing union), they have a feast with all the friends! He boasts of his conquest.

Later in the relationship (possibly presented as another dream), he knocks at her door. He wants to “get it on” and begs her to let him in. His loins are raging and his engine is revved up! Yet she responds with rejection of his advances (Challenge: complacency, uncertainty). After she rethinks and reconnects with the feelings she has for him, she quickly gets up to answer the door, but he is gone. (Challenge: Losing desire once she “got him,” rejection, drives him away). She searches in the city, only to be beaten by the watchman (in the dream?).

She meets the other women and tells them (possibly knowing that he might be found among them) that she is lovesick for him and requests that they help her find him. (Confirmation: Accepting the other women are there is the first step in accepting him as is; not bothered by them). They ask why he is so special? What does she see in him? And as many DF have been asked, “If he ‘obviously’ doesn’t want to be with you, why do you still love him so much?” (Confirmation: The DF “fight for what you just know in your soul to be the greatest love”).

The Shulamite responds with all the traits she loves about Solomon, including the fact that he is her friend. In a marriage or in union, lovers should also be best friends. One commentary noted that God made this point because He knew that when a husband or wife seeks counsel or advice outside the marriage (e.g., talking about your marriage with a female ‘friend’), it can easily lead to emotional or physical adultery. In her quest, she reiterates the deep bond they have, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” She seems certain that he went to his (literal) garden to decompress after their dispute. (Confirmation: Learning to trust).

When they meet again, he is enamored by her. He describes her perfect beauty again and stresses that she is set apart from all the others. He may even be adoringly poking fun at her ability to lead these once jealous young women to become a dedicated search party for her cause. She turns her trigger into her troop! They recognize her as the DF and praise/promote their Union.

While meditating in the garden, he had realized or truly awakened to what their connection was, so he races back to her. He hadn’t known before why he was so drawn to her: “Before I was aware, my soul made me like the Chariots of Amminadib.” Now that he is awakened, he calls her to Union but she is still hesitant (again!!) so he calls again and again. He expresses that she is like two armies that are now one (Confirmation: Union). He again marvels at her beauty and refers to her breasts as twins. Her eyes are like the fishpools of Heshbon, which have great spiritual depth, intelligence, and understanding (thanks, truthunity.net for that description of this phrase). His words woo her and she finally submits to his eternal love.

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me” (Confirmation: She finally accepts that his love is secure; she doesn’t have to worry about the other women; Union). “Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages…” She speaks of tending to the vineyards and the new and old fruits. This represents what they have learned of their past trials and how their love will blossom and be a model to others (Confirmation: Mission). Some say that she wanted to go back to the countryside to be isolated from the business of the city, but it could be talking about the divine mission to spread love throughout the land.

The final verses reiterate their affections for each other. In the beginning, she loved that his hands were under her head and the other embracing her, now she states it in a way that says, “Yes, that is where you should be! Let love take its natural course. The natural course is our union.” There is a final seal set on their love… likened to a fire of love or a divine flame. They vow that no other mate and no other temptations will sway them from a narrow course on this journey. She gives herself fully to him, despite his continued polygamous acts because she finally feels secure in his love for her. She knows that even if he has hundreds of women, she is the one true love who was set apart from the rest. She accepts him also for who he truly is and the work he must do as king (e.g., political marriages).

The final verse calls that he go quickly into the world to complete his work but to return with the same urgency. Yet this time, it doesn’t have the energy of separation but instead, she is at peace with the way things are and knows that even when there is physical distance, they are still one…


Comment with your thoughts… Am I nuts or am I onto something?

Molly and My Magnificent Moon Manifestations

“Molly, make me millions!!!” And suddenly a million raindrops started to fall.

“Oh… well then… Molly, make me smokin’ hot and give me a love that’s on fire!!!” The next thing I knew… My back hills were on fire!!

“Okay, okay, well then… Molly please… please just give me world peace. Surely you can get that one right?” Molly seemed to smolder red with anger, for even the moon can pick up on sarcasm! Just then, the earth started to quake… the world was falling to pieces (peace-es)!!

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the reminders to let go of those things that do not help me to grow and prosper in Your Love. Thank You for supplying all my needs in abundance. I trust that You have my best interest at heart and would not limit my future but continue to fill my life with blessed gifts.

There is so much beauty that You have given the world yet we get trapped in our minds with worry, shame, and regret. But there is no need for that! So instead, I worship, praise, and focus my gaze toward You!

You created the sunlight that reflects off the leaves… and You control the wind that tickles the branches. You gave the lizards and birds the instinct to fill their bellies and dance for a lover. You taught patience, forgiveness, and charity. You placed each star in the night sky and breathed life into those I love.

Thank you for the richness in life.

Hope During Separation

Would you think me insane, if you knew I talked with you in the 5D plane?

Or would you… say you’re there chattin’ it up with me too?

In that place you tell me you need more time and I say okay, because I know that timing is only from the Divine.

And so I continue living and loving my life.

I’m there for you- backing you through every feat- even if in the 3D we never meet.

Only few will understand… what it means to love a man…

Who isn’t physically near her, but I say… unconditional love is meant for our mirror.

And so I continue living and loving my life.

I know you have to “go through it” alone in order to accept your place on the throne.

So from afar, let my love boost you up and may the love in your life runneth over in your cup.

And until we meet again and you choose me as more than a friend,

I continue living and loving my life.

The Tsunami

There is a tsunami looming on the horizon where my soul once found solice. There was a time when I could look but never find the end to its expansive profile. But now a wall rises before me. Its waters escape from between my toes, pulling the sandy ground right out from under me. My balance wavers between running further onto shore or letting its power swallow me whole.

The Process

Faces appear with gentle smiles

Welcoming me into the land of crazy

Where you can’t believe your thoughts

But your senses… Oh yes… The senses tell the story.

Notice… 1… 2… 3…

Notice me. As I dance lost in innocence

Ancient slate wiped clean.

Your cocked-to-the-side head, shaking a naughty knowing grin.

“My heart fears you… us… me.”

“I see you. Flash! In my reflection.”

I taste you. Smooth rich cognac

“Touch… My heart and soul.”

My mind plays tricks on my reality

See it. Pop! Blast! Into my sight line

“Taste it. Smooth rich hazelnut.”

Touch… Myself with these thoughts.

The frowning figures of the past

Saddened that we cannot recognize

That we had found each other long before today

But this life… gets me… Under Pressure.

Just to get me dancing again

Without you.

Notice… Joy… Gratitude… Humor

Notice… Love.

Small steps for change

The levee of my heart breaks.

There’s so much despair yet I struggle where to focus, where to begin.

Choose a topic, it’s fucked: mental illness, sex trafficking, LGBTQ+ studies, racial injustices…

There is so much pain! It overwhelms my system.

What can I do? How can I help?

Each one is a tear and they collectively flow as a river down my face into my heart.

Lemon Cornichon Salmon

Ingredients:

2-3 portions of salmon

Avocado oil

1/4 cup chopped sweet onion

1 lemon, sliced

Salt & Pepper

1-2 Tbsp. butter

1/4 cup diced cornichons (or dill pickle)

1 tsp mustard (yellow or stone ground)

Fresh dill, to taste

Directions:

Pre-heat oven to broil: 450 degrees. Place salmon skin-side down onto a baking dish, preferably close to the size of the salmon so that the juices accumulate rather than evaporate. Drizzle the salmon with avocado oil then squeeze the lemon juice on top. Place the lemon peels on and around the fish. Next, cover with the onions. Season with salt and pepper and broil for 15-20 minutes, depending on how well you like it done. While the salmon is cooking, mix the butter, cornichons, and mustard. Set aside. When the fish is done, push the lemon and onion to the side and top the salmon with the butter mixture. Cover and rest for 10 minutes. Serve with chopped fresh dill, the cooked onions, and a drizzle of the pan juices.

My Treatment Plan

I’ll never stop fighting to find my joy, but I have learned the value of feeling for healing. Here’s the process that has worked for me:

When your heart wants to break, let it! Let go. Feel all of it. The heavy and simultaneous empty. Feel it ripping apart your insides. Cry. Wale. Carry on like a child (but preferably in your war room closet so the kids don’t worry: But if they do, they learn compassion). Tear apart the invisible cord extending from your chest straight down through your solar plexus. Rage. Love. Hate. Reminisce. Overthink, overanalyze, change your mind, change it again because it needs to be done. Go down into the dark well- for you know your rope it tethered to God. And when you have sufficiently exhausted your soul, thank the Lord for holding that space for you. Take a nap. Wake up and when the pain creeps back on like a wave crashing on your heart, let it! Let your eyes well up. Exhale bursts of sadness. Breathe in divine love. Look around. Thank God for the multitude of blessings in your life. Allow yourself to be overcome by the loneliness of not sharing your blessings with a lover. Walk around in a daze. Lost in empty thoughts. Then be distracted by someone else’s drama. Hulu and Netflix are great helpers for this step. Hold your children. Kiss their forehead and know how much love you get and have to give! Think of the times you were joyful. How do you get back there? Breathe. Deeply. Into the belly, filling it like a balloon. Exhale the doubt that says you don’t have a purpose. Be your joy. Make a conscious choice to get back up. This is the crucial point… do you take back your joy or do you let misery win? Let it all go. All of it. You are made new! You have a purpose and someone out there will receive you! When we trust in the Father, we have hope. Hold that hope. Love always fucking wins!

Get some rest. Tomorrow will be a brand new morning.

We Can’t Be “Just Friends”

It’s always the same… You love other women and my love must be tame. I thought that if I were a better friend and promised to be there ’til the end, that you’d see me in a new light. But I’m tired of feeling “not good enough,” I’m tired of this fight. You never got to know that part of me, you never let me in. You saw the hurt and restrained me ’cause you pushed me away and could never begin past “friend.”

My love was deep because I saw the real you, I just wish you could have openly loved me too. It’s not my regret but it is my fault that you locked me out of your erotic vault. I went from lover to friend to therapist but I know you felt our connection when we kissed. It cut like a knife when you said “she’s worth the effort” and that her free-spirit reminds you of me… I cannot bear how those words filled my soul with jealousy. I want to hold your hand and meet your tribe! Being around you makes the world seem so alive! I want to love and freely show my affection but without those mighty walls of protection. We’d become so close and gotten through a lot of crappy stuff but being “just friends” with you is not enough. I don’t want you to choose… her or me. I can see that together you two are happy! I’m delighted that you have found someone who makes you recognize that you are whole. You deserve love without my presence taking a toll. I also want to protect my heart, so out of respect, we must part.

I’m a sensual woman who deserves love in return, where two stoke the fire for the flame to burn. I don’t want to wait for you anymore, I don’t want to cry. So without a word I say “goodbye.”