NYE 2021 into 2022

Tonight we graciously say, “’til we meet again” to the people and things that we wish not to stay.

Not a full goodbye… for the energy cannot be destroyed no matter our efforts to try.

It will transform to show its face once more, as repeated patterns of lessons we’ve got in store.

Or as the honor that comes with learning how to love: A transformation that can only come from above.

So take a moment to acknowledge your setbacks and bad relationships. Show gratitude for the challenges and protective ego trips.

Then step forward into the new year with humble confidence that squashes any bits of menacing fear.

Know that you are a fierce yet patient go-getter. Step forward knowing you can help the world become better.

Happy New Year!

Standing up for rights

They look at us and say, “Such idiots, so misinformed.”

But what they don’t see is that we are the rule changers that alter the norm.

We won’t take your word without valid and solid evidence.

For far too long, we’ve allowed others to set the wrong kind of precedence.

WE founded this country as a free nation:

Freedom of speech, to bear arms, and to access information.

We’re entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

And we will rise to take action to protect this!

Vulnerability is a Need

Women rise to the occasion when we see what needs to be done, and we put ourselves in the position to be it all… the everything to everyone…. I am… the mechanic, the chef. I am the teacher, the banker and financial advisor. Mark me as the lover, the mother, your best friend and your greatest foe.

But at the end of the day, after I tuck the kids in bed, finish washing the dishes, fold the laundry, and feed the dog, I just want to rest my weary head.

I want to be….

Held by protective arms that could combat the worries away.

Free from the terror that my grays might make him stray.

Kissed softly but thrown on the bedtop.

Seen as “sexy enough” that he doesn’t want to stop.

Thanked for the job I’ve done in holding the world together.

Told that I am loved deeply and that my love has made him better.

Let me tell you… these are the things a woman needs. A simple list to end her day. To feel a little less alone. To give her strength to do it all again tomorrow.

You’re Not Alone

Would it be vile- in this new age- to get close enough to put my arms around you?

Or should I ignore your suffering by staying six-feet apart- I’m not sure what to do.

I feel your heart breaking and the fear coursing through each vein.

You may lose the one you love but no one seems to hear your pain.

My heart is hanging by its last thread of this sleeve, for someone I never knew.

Dear Stranger, You’re not alone.

Would you have time- perhaps just a moment- to find the root… for me to pick your brain?

It’s not called burnout but is compassion fatigue when you keep going and try not to complain.

You’re hungry, exhausted, over-worked, and over-burdened, and on deaf-ears you collectively plead.

The Man doesn’t hear, but He who sent us does! Let’s create a plan to care for you lest my heart continues to bleed.

The scales are tipped in your favor so the world can see the system is flawed: These conditions are inhumane.

My Weary Caregiver, You’re not alone.

Would knowing my status or forcing my hand ease your mind even if we disagreed?

Risk is a necessary evil when taking a stand or holding strong to your creed.

The trickster has caught us in a trap to swing left or right…to be a passive or passionate civilian?

Our health, our freedom, our lives… at risk without trust or knowing the real villain.

Yet we can still do what’s right by letting our God-given knowledge and intuition be the lead.

To my Uncertain Friend, You’re not alone.

Would protection for our children mean we give up our rights… is that really worth a bribe of 15 billion?

Protection from what or by whom? We’ve already seen the destruction by lost lives over 4.5 million.

These children are caught in the middle while we’re fighting over an unknown agenda that’s either political or moral.

We just want their lives to be full, free, connected, and for them to develop in a way that used to be normal.

But then I remember that no man can take their freedom: The war is already won! Hate- 0; Love- googillion.

Oh Papa- and Mama-Bears, You’re not alone.

None of us are alone in the pain, struggle, and uncertainty.

We just have to let someone in to share the burden and prove that Love wins!

On My Behalf

Stopped. Not by external forces but the internal knowledge that if I don’t stop myself than the universe will stop me… put me on my knees and have me begging for solace and peace. How long did I think I could sustain this pressure? But when I stop… the thinking creeps in, followed by the deep loneliness that likes to push me down into the darkness… I look out for him so that I can dodge his trickery: “I’m not alone!!!” I yell to him before he’s close enough to shove me down. “I’ve got my dreams to comfort me!” But he still advances to trip me up. “I have freedom how I live. No one will stop me from capturing my desires,” except my old friends Doubt and Fear, but I don’t tell him that. Loneliness smirks in a way that lets me know he’s plotting… planning ways to remind me of lost lovers.

My Heart speaks on my behalf: “Love is free. You just have to accept it.” It’s as if he was reminding me, but then I saw that his intensity was directed toward Loneliness. “You know this! Why do you try to toss her to the lion’s of her mind? Don’t you also know she is protected by a Love greater than any of your threats?”

“I do,” replied Loneliness with a mix of angst and a frog in his throat.

“Then why try?”

“You could never understand!!! Love turned its back on me!! It’s not fair that she should have so much when I have none… But you’re Heart… How could you ever get it? You’re filled to the brim.”

“That’s where you are mistaken my dear misguided Loneliness. I am not filled with love! I AM Love! I am the source, the process, and the product.” Loneliness turned away, ashamed of being in Love’s presence… tears… on the brink of flooding the valley of my soul. Heart approached and placed His hand on his shoulder… “And I… give myself to you freely. Can you accept this gift?”

The Mirrored Self

If you’ve loved the ones who reflect who you are right back to you, then you probably have learned to love yourself. Because before that time when you love yourself, they seem to rub you the wrong way, anger you easily, and disappoint you… or rather, you disappoint yourself as you resist the abundance of love that is possible when the reflection shows peace and acceptance.

[For more information on the Looking Glass Self theory, read Charles Cooley’s works]

Ballad

Him: I can’t see you. Babe, I can’t see you. Cause Lord knows I can’t see myself walking away again. You knew me better. Took my soul and wrote it in a letter but something tells me that now I’m a better man. Come home to me.

Her: I’m making it without you even though you’ve left evidence of your craftmanship: You’ve drafted upon my soul.

Him: I can’t stop dreaming. I don’t want to stop dreaming. Cause if I do, I’m afraid you’ll be gone for good. You loved so sweet. Took my breath away and made my heart retreat but now I’m lost and locked without the key. Come home to me.

Her: I’m finding my way without you, darlin’, even though you hold the map: You’re my cartographer.

Him: I want to find you. I need to find you. Cause without your light, the darkness keeps closing in. You brightened my way. Took every ounce to keep my pain at bay but every fiber wants to pull you tighter. Come home to me.

Her: I’m singing my song without you even though we’re the music that makes my heart beat: You’re my perfect harmony.

Him/Her: Come home to me.

Her: But what we couldn’t see is that I never left you and you never left me.

Him: Life is our rhythm and love the melody!

Gratitude for the Man and the Journey: From “Mirrors”

I will forever be grateful and hold you in high regard.

You mirrored my soul’s fears and faults and left my heart jarred.

But without your love to expose my vulnerability

I would not have fought so hard to taste sweet tranquility.

I’ve learned to love deeper without attachment or expecting more

To appreciate God’s gifts, life’s challenges, and the blessings in store.

So thank you, THANK YOU, for helping me to see

That we’re all connected, joy comes from within, and that love is free.

Hello, Joy

Pushing 40 in a dry spell. Supposed to be in my prime. I’m a mom of perfectly imperfect loving souls. I’m the good cop and the bad guy. I’m the grey gal sneaking out at night. Put your hand on mine and hold me. ‘Cause I feel so alone some of the time. Heaviness. Makes it so hard to breathe.

Where has my Joy gone? She left me years ago. I wonder what she’s doing now. I heard from a mutual friend that she’s still in town, but she doesn’t come around… too often anymore. Maybe it’s because… around me… she can’t breathe.

Who am I? The me that is… pre- or post- orgasm? Are they the same woman? If I don’t cum can I show you who I am? I knew it was over when you didn’t kiss me. But I couldn’t kiss you either. I had to win. So our lips only slid across the surface. As if calling, “Who’s gonna go the last 10%?” Neither of us could do it. My heart stopped and I could barely breathe.

They can’t hold me back. They’ve not got the right. My faith is greater than their degradation. I’m being seasoned… put on fire. Seek those who lift us up. Step out of comfort and into the light. Surround ourselves with love. Clear up the present from a murky past. Take a breath of fresh air. Smile. As you open the door, “Hello, Joy.”