That Balance

Dropped the kids off with their dad and my soul leaps up, “Freedom!” Darlin’ let’s jump in the truck and head out on a little adventure. Grab a coffee and a bowl and just drive… Beyond our current circumstances. I don’t want to go to the bank to pay my rent… I want to go the bank of a glorious river- let’s dip our toes in the freezing water. I don’t want to go train my brain to remember the contents of books. I want to remember holding your hand on a train booked to nowhere and back. I don’t want to return to my quiet kidless house- I miss them. I want to be in God’s house surrounded by lively silence. I don’t want to clear the clutter and make my bed. I want to make out with you under the stars on a clear crisp night.

My soul is restless. When they ask “Are you living life to the fullest?” I’d have to say, “No” because I am choosing to be temperant and responsible. But I want to be irresponsible! I want to be whisked away, swept off my feet, and sweetly loved…. When the kids are away. ISO… That balance.

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