Loneliness

I googled the “cure for loneliness,” simply because I was curious about which simplistic answers would top the list. As I suspected, “the key” to beating it is to 1) Be okay alone… and 2) Make new friends! “Wow!” I thought. “Thank you for such insightful conclusions!” (Perhaps it is my sarcasm that breeds this solitude).

I wondered if maybe I was asking the wrong question… Was it really loneliness? Afterall, I enjoy my quiet wine time. I am a riot: Even when it is only me that I entertain. I also have a close group of friends or active support network. The magic pill won’t cure that which isn’t ill.

Connect with my heart. Put an image to the feeling. What is it really?

Fear. It isn’t that I am lonely… It is that I am afraid that I will always be alone.

I am scared that no man will see me… The perfectly imperfect jewel. No man will love me… Enough to find joy in the monotony of our shared routines. I fear that on those days when I am exhausted and don’t want to talk, that no man will be here to touch me.

Google search: “Cure for fear.”

In Psychology Today’s article, “The Cure for Fear, Grief, and Death” (June 28, 2015), Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. declared that there is no cure for fear: We must simply remember the commonality of these human conditions. She goes on to state that “control is an illusion” and once we recognize our powerlessness, we are freed from the anxiety attached to wanting control.

Okay. I am not special in this. Everyone, at times, feels the facade of loneliness… The fear of being isolated from love.

It’s funny…. Recognizing and really allowing myself to feel that oneness with all those out there who feel it too… Has cured my loneliness.

At least for the moment.

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