What I’ve Realized About Love: From My Heart to Yours.

Leave the Vision to the Divine Feminine. Let her spirit be light and whimsical. You, Divine Masculine are the protect her… protector of this Sacred Union. You trust me, the grace-filled goddess to dream up and manifest a life together of beauty, charity, and peace. I trust you, the mighty warrior, to defend the boundaries of our love. No foe shall surmount these walls, our faultless fortress buckles our enemies at the knees. First we Ascend then we Expand our love throughout the world!

Clarify Before You Testify

I crave simplicity. When I think of my “dream life,” I am free. Free to roam in the woods and follow a river- not following the designated path. We’ve- yes, we’ve- got music to soothe our aches and pains. And laughter to bring humanity closer. (Lynyrd Skynyrd: Simple Man). My poised yet contemplative stance equipped to spit poetic epiphany-evoking proverbs. Are we angels or have we found extra favor in God’s eyes? (Dave Matthews Band: Crush).

The animals follow- not my dominance- but my energy. (Blind Melon: No Rain). They want to join in with the joyous Jubilee. After 6000 years, we finally unite to end our self destruction and bring the purity in our stewardship back to this dying garden.

How many people have truly smiled today? For no other reason except that life is a beautifully complicated mix of musical tones and notes splattered in perfect rhythm across the scales of emotions: I just ♮ FADE# into happiness. (Dave Matthews Band: Satellite and #41).

When I was a kid, my secret spot to get away from everyone was up the chicken coop to the hay loft of an old abandoned barn. Or hiding in the dark closet atop a pile of clothes so that I could think. (Chris Cornell: Nothing Compares to You). But when I’m with you, I don’t have to hide.

Obligation can either rob you of your happiness by adding depth to the masks we wear to protect our fragile egos (DMB: All Along the Watchtower) or the perceptions of obligations might transform to an erotic blessing between friends. Own me if you dare to tame the seas and call out my name as being yours. (DMB: Say Goodbye). Take off your masks. Breathe me in. Come home. (Counting Crows: Round Here).

We’re already here! We are free. Laughter abounds and love is possible. Walls have been torn down and masks have been removed. Creatures linger at my feet and lounge in my lap. And my words… my words reach…. who they need to in the moment. Simplicity is here. And it feels amazing! (DMB: The Space Between).

Another Saturday Night

I want a man who can get loose and dance like we know how- acting out the scenes from each song: Piano Man makes me feel at least three inches taller pre-ballet performance that turns out to have the perfect ending. What’s Going On!!! Belted in exasperation and humor… He’s gotta be right there with me gorging on late night mac-n-cheese and putting cilantro on anything and everything. I’m not ashamed to squirt mustard in my mouth- straight outta the bottle. Will Freddy Mercury’s pain and genius make both of us cry? Or will he snicker and lovingly poke fun at my sensitivity?

Then the ultimate- stuffing my face alone- song comes on… “Forever’s gonna start tonight. Now I’m only falling apart: Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Love of my life, hurry back, hurry back… don’t take it away from me because you don’t know what it means to me.

But as the final crescendos peak, the eclipse that blacked out my heart relents to show the first streaks of new light. I confidently march over to the stove, grab the kettle and fork, and say “I’m going to eat this mac-n-cheese as a strong, intelligent, and beautiful woman!!!” My head held high.

My goddess Crone remembers that I am a Nothingman. Burn. Burn. I took a trip through the concerts of the last half of the 20th century, discovering that music exposes our deepest yearnings, regrets, blessings and hurt. Is the love I gave [him] in the past, gonna be enough love to last, if tomorrow never comes? He who forgets will be destined to remember. [He] was [my] love. [I] was his queen and now a thousand years between. If I’d only known how the king would fall, Hey who’s to say, you know I might have changed it all… I could’ve missed the pain…

But I’d have had to miss the dance. And I want him to rock my gypsy soul.

The Song of Songs: An Exalted Love

The Song of Solomon was not simply about how a marriage should be- for Solomon had hundreds of wives- nay, this poem exalted the One. This relationship was sanctified… it had a very different energy than the others, which leads me to believe that this story exemplifies the twin flame journey.


This morning I was listening to yet another reading of the twin flame journey: I admit… I subscribe to the channel. Eeek! Now, I get that most of the time, tarot is just manipulation of the mind, but as I am also a keen observer of how the mind works, I am all for this experiment into seeing how “real” or fake it actually is… It’s uncanny how accurate it can be, btw! Anyway, so I said to myself, “I need to break from the videos and get back in touch with the Source! I need to get into the Word and find out my direction on my life’s journey.”

[Insert “the day” unfolding… friendships, parenting, the beach, blah blah blah, dinner, more friends… I am blessed. Truly.]

Finally, I am at a point in my day to sit and read the Bible. Aaahhh, relief! Remember! I had set my intention or asked the question earlier in the day…

I open my Bible, or rather, it is as if it falls open… to The Song of Solomon.

I know it well. It has been referred to as the only “R-rated” book… once threatened to be omitted from the Jewish canon… Anyway… I’ve always been thrilled to read a good love story: The hopeless romantic that I am. So when I was guided to it, there was no question that this short poetic piece would be my focus.

The twin flame journey had been on my mind… a lot! For those who know what it means, I have surrendered. This man has taught me unconditional love and I am grateful… but also patient and at peace with the path on which God is leading me. Therefore, with my mind where it was, and because I wrote The Love Stories about the original twin flames, I thought it appropriate to just see- with my curious mind- if other love stories were filled with clues that foster the TF concept and support our experiences.

Spoiler alert! It does. Let’s break it down:

Alright, so we all know that Solomon was a stud! By the end of his reign, he had thousands of concubines and wives. I mean, come on! What do you even do with that many? Apparently, many of the wives were due to political agreements, but whatever… he had groupies… for sure! He also had a vast kingdom (that split into the north and south kingdoms after he died) and a boatload of riches… But another interesting point is that he is known to be the wisest man to ever have lived. Wow! What a title! I’m not gonna lie: If I had to choose a thousand men at my beck and call, money out the wazoo, or to be deemed the wisest woman to ever live… I would choose door number three. Although, to think of it…. that would be a very lonely place. It’s kind of heartbreaking actually. Nevermind, I choose money…

Which brings me to the poem. We’ve established a bit of context: Rich dude with lots of chics is quite lonely because he is so far off from other people’s cognitive perception and perspective. He’s got- at this point- over 140 women adoring him… and then…. He meets her.


It begins with intensity. Right off the bat, she speaks of immense desires for him (not to him, yet). Her and the other virgins are waiting for his arrival and they all dote and ogle over him. Yet she is different from the others and knows it. She expresses a bit of insecurity because her brothers made her tend to the vineyards. In other words, she had a dark tan or was black. She felt like she shouldn’t be admired because she hadn’t tended to her complexion: “Don’t look upon me…” (Challenge: Shame). Already, she is acting as a typical Divine Feminine (DF) who initiates this cat-and-mouse game. There is already “a reason” why they “can’t be together.” However, she was still quite beautiful and the other women in her company at the time were jealous and contributed to the thoughts of “What are you even doing here?” (Challenge: Feeling unworthy).

He knew- upon seeing her among all the others- that she was indeed different. He immediately propped her up on a pedestal likening her to a company of horses in Pharaoh’s chariots: She was the Divine Feminine. She knew it too. She sensed that her love was pure whereas the others’ love was superficial (a lily among thorns) and that he was different from all the other men she had met (an apple tree among all the other trees in the woods). This connection touched her to the core (hahaha- pun intended!)- Her soul loved him. (Confirmation: deep, intense, soulful connection).

Then BAM! The tether is set… when they gaze into each other’s eyes. Several times in the book, it repeats how their eyes were of dove’s eyes: gentle, kind, comforting to look into… But also (as marklake.org stated), a dove’s eyes are narrow, making it only possible to focus on one thing: Each in the poem only has eyes for the other. Three times it repeats this phrase about the connection of the eyes. On the twin flame journey, it is known that the soul recognizes itself through the eyes and thus begets the magnetism (Confirmation: The notorious TF eyes).

The Shulamite woman and Solomon speak words of love to each other, even planning how their future will look. They just know that they will be together until the end (Confirmation: Knowing, feeling “at home”), so they feel emotionally safe to envision their future. (Yeah, how many of us have done that with our twin flames, even if we knew it couldn’t be possible for a long time due to karmic relationships). Yet still, she feels insecure about her complexion (Challenge: Self-Worth) and she is hesitant to go “hang out” with his friends: She wonders if she will fit in. But once there, she realizes that “He brought me [here] and his banner over me is love.” He made it known with all his friends that she was his! He was proud that he could show her off. He was committed, dedicated… and she reveled in this ownership of mutual love. (You own me. “You own me.” And we’re okay with that). This public act of his- his banner of love for all to see- gives her the security she needs to just melt… to fall completely head over heels for him. She learns that it is safe to love: That he will catch her when she falls (in love)! “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me” (Confirmation: Feeling lovesick, it all happens so fast).

Then, the verse that is repeated several times is addressed to all the other women: Leave us! She says in confidence and purity: She knows her place in his heart. In essence, the verse is saying, “Let love take its natural course. Let the divine unfold this plan.” A reminder that we often need on this journey!

The verse also marks the beginning of an exhausting rollercoaster of emotional upheaval and restructuring of the soul!

Although it isn’t directly stated, the scene ends with a separation (Challenge: Runner). It doesn’t say why she left, but it does reference the vineyards and the season as being reasons… that are now moot. Her excuses are gone and he wants her to return. This is the point where other men would call it quits, but he feels the connection too and goes after her. Accepting her, despite her insecurities and need to run away.

There is an implied Winter and the poem resumes in Spring as Solomon frantically seeks her out in her countryside, begging her to come back to be with him (Challenge: Chaser). These verses relate to the post-Dark Night of the Soul phase. The DNS is where the lovers face their darkness, uncover what triggered them, and resolve internal issues. It is the restructuring into a oneness with their lover. Initially, she feels hopeless, like she will never measure up, and wonders, “How could he ever love me? He is so wonderful and I am so…..” And so she sulked and fell into despair.

Make note of the references to roe (gazelle) and hart (male deer/stag) throughout the text: Stags (and bees) have been thought of as signs of union. But when he returns for her, she still responds with insecurities: She knows that he has seducers that will attempt to ruin their love (Like foxes that dig up the vineyards, so too will the Daughters of Jerusalem attempt to take his love… so she thinks). She doesn’t want to compete with them (Challenge: Other women are her trigger). She wants monogamy but he is a notorious polygamist. She would rather he live in the country with her where those other women wouldn’t be around (Challenge: Lack of trust; desire for isolation to “protect” relationship). She is not ready for union.

We find that Solomon returned to the city without her: Monogamy must have scared him! So he bolted! (Challenge: Runner; Separation). In her dream (another part of her Dark Night), she searches for him and cannot find him (Challenge: Chaser) (Confirmation: Establishing 5D connection through dreams). This startles her so much that she leaves for the city at night to find him. A watchman tells her where he is at and she goes to him. When she finds him- with the other women- she clings to him and again tells the other women to leave them alone! (Challenge: He returns to what is easy and safe, she faces her Ego; Out of fear this time). She has finally returned and thinks she is “ready” to be by his side. She again claims ownership of her man.

The next section of the poem describes the wedding procession and when Bathsheba (his mother) “gives him away.” Solomon has taken great care in making the event a public spectacle, especially for all the other wives and concubines. He is setting his DF apart from the others (Confirmation: Sanctification of DF). He even notes that her teeth are like sheep… where “every one bear twins…” meaning that each tooth had its pair, mirrored, perfect mate. He also refers to her breast as twin gazelles feeding on the lilies. (Confirmation: repetition of “twins”).

The first time he told her of her beauty, he spoke in kingly terms (e.g., Pharaoh’s horses, jewels, gold) but now he speaks (as one commentary put it) in terms that would be appreciated by a simple country girl (e.g., pasture animals, fruits). This shows his growth as the Divine Masculine (Confirmation: Growth, empathy). He wants to be by her side. Yet still she tries to run away again, stating she wants to meditate. Each time she runs, he may “run” in turn to be with his many other women, making it seem like he is the unemotional runner. (Challenge: Constant switch of who is runner and chaser; back-and-forth; up-and-down; the waves).

But this time, he pulls her in and satisfies her insecurities by again stating how he feels she is perfection. He has fallen deep in love with her and his passions are again rising for her. He expresses to her the same words she expressed about him to the Daughters of Jerusalem in the very beginning (Challenge and Confirmation: Unbridled passions) to evoke a once-felt excitement for the relationship. She continues the foreplay to let him know that she is ready to consummate the marriage. After their sexual union (note the reference to honey and honeycomb- i.e., the bee is a sign of nearing union), they have a feast with all the friends! He boasts of his conquest.

Later in the relationship (possibly presented as another dream), he knocks at her door. He wants to “get it on” and begs her to let him in. His loins are raging and his engine is revved up! Yet she responds with rejection of his advances (Challenge: complacency, uncertainty). After she rethinks and reconnects with the feelings she has for him, she quickly gets up to answer the door, but he is gone. (Challenge: Losing desire once she “got him,” rejection, drives him away). She searches in the city, only to be beaten by the watchman (in the dream?).

She meets the other women and tells them (possibly knowing that he might be found among them) that she is lovesick for him and requests that they help her find him. (Confirmation: Accepting the other women are there is the first step in accepting him as is; not bothered by them). They ask why he is so special? What does she see in him? And as many DF have been asked, “If he ‘obviously’ doesn’t want to be with you, why do you still love him so much?” (Confirmation: The DF “fight for what you just know in your soul to be the greatest love”).

The Shulamite responds with all the traits she loves about Solomon, including the fact that he is her friend. In a marriage or in union, lovers should also be best friends. One commentary noted that God made this point because He knew that when a husband or wife seeks counsel or advice outside the marriage (e.g., talking about your marriage with a female ‘friend’), it can easily lead to emotional or physical adultery. In her quest, she reiterates the deep bond they have, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” She seems certain that he went to his (literal) garden to decompress after their dispute. (Confirmation: Learning to trust).

When they meet again, he is enamored by her. He describes her perfect beauty again and stresses that she is set apart from all the others. He may even be adoringly poking fun at her ability to lead these once jealous young women to become a dedicated search party for her cause. She turns her trigger into her troop! They recognize her as the DF and praise/promote their Union.

While meditating in the garden, he had realized or truly awakened to what their connection was, so he races back to her. He hadn’t known before why he was so drawn to her: “Before I was aware, my soul made me like the Chariots of Amminadib.” Now that he is awakened, he calls her to Union but she is still hesitant (again!!) so he calls again and again. He expresses that she is like two armies that are now one (Confirmation: Union). He again marvels at her beauty and refers to her breasts as twins. Her eyes are like the fishpools of Heshbon, which have great spiritual depth, intelligence, and understanding (thanks, truthunity.net for that description of this phrase). His words woo her and she finally submits to his eternal love.

“I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me” (Confirmation: She finally accepts that his love is secure; she doesn’t have to worry about the other women; Union). “Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages…” She speaks of tending to the vineyards and the new and old fruits. This represents what they have learned of their past trials and how their love will blossom and be a model to others (Confirmation: Mission). Some say that she wanted to go back to the countryside to be isolated from the business of the city, but it could be talking about the divine mission to spread love throughout the land.

The final verses reiterate their affections for each other. In the beginning, she loved that his hands were under her head and the other embracing her, now she states it in a way that says, “Yes, that is where you should be! Let love take its natural course. The natural course is our union.” There is a final seal set on their love… likened to a fire of love or a divine flame. They vow that no other mate and no other temptations will sway them from a narrow course on this journey. She gives herself fully to him, despite his continued polygamous acts because she finally feels secure in his love for her. She knows that even if he has hundreds of women, she is the one true love who was set apart from the rest. She accepts him also for who he truly is and the work he must do as king (e.g., political marriages).

The final verse calls that he go quickly into the world to complete his work but to return with the same urgency. Yet this time, it doesn’t have the energy of separation but instead, she is at peace with the way things are and knows that even when there is physical distance, they are still one…


Comment with your thoughts… Am I nuts or am I onto something?

Hope During Separation

Would you think me insane, if you knew I talked with you in the 5D plane?

Or would you… say you’re there chattin’ it up with me too?

In that place you tell me you need more time and I say okay, because I know that timing is only from the Divine.

And so I continue living and loving my life.

I’m there for you- backing you through every feat- even if in the 3D we never meet.

Only few will understand… what it means to love a man…

Who isn’t physically near her, but I say… unconditional love is meant for our mirror.

And so I continue living and loving my life.

I know you have to “go through it” alone in order to accept your place on the throne.

So from afar, let my love boost you up and may the love in your life runneth over in your cup.

And until we meet again and you choose me as more than a friend,

I continue living and loving my life.

The Process

Faces appear with gentle smiles

Welcoming me into the land of crazy

Where you can’t believe your thoughts

But your senses… Oh yes… The senses tell the story.

Notice… 1… 2… 3…

Notice me. As I dance lost in innocence

Ancient slate wiped clean.

Your cocked-to-the-side head, shaking a naughty knowing grin.

“My heart fears you… us… me.”

“I see you. Flash! In my reflection.”

I taste you. Smooth rich cognac

“Touch… My heart and soul.”

My mind plays tricks on my reality

See it. Pop! Blast! Into my sight line

“Taste it. Smooth rich hazelnut.”

Touch… Myself with these thoughts.

The frowning figures of the past

Saddened that we cannot recognize

That we had found each other long before today

But this life… gets me… Under Pressure.

Just to get me dancing again

Without you.

Notice… Joy… Gratitude… Humor

Notice… Love.

The Love Stories

Once upon a time… that’s how these love stories are suppose to begin, right? Because, yes, this is a multi-level love story. It begins with a Father… and His Son, whose name was Michael. I can’t tell you when this tale begins, but I can tell you where… Beyond the reaches of our human curiosity and potential.

Now any parent can tell you that it is quite difficult to put to words the love they have for their child. You’d just have to see it in action. And that is exactly what happened in the beginning of our love story. Words cannot give justice to the peace, security, and joy that exuded from this Father and Son. But it was palpable to all who gazed upon them together. However, not everyone liked the exclusivity of their relationship.

There was one- Lucifer, another son, but who was not born of the Father- who felt that he should be loved as much as the biological Son and should have these bonding moments with the Father too. You see… Lucifer was the most beautiful angel whose voice could soften diamonds. His music resonated through timelessness and space to connect all of Heaven in glorifying God. Yet, he wanted his father’s adoration to be at the same level as His love for Michael. He felt that although he was not a biological son, he was still a son! He was esteemed as the highest created being, above all others, except for Michael… But it wasn’t enough. The envy and jealousy grew! He soon began his greatest song composed of his comradery with other angels in rebellion against this injustice in love. This saddened the Father and He tried to love an explanation to Lucifer, but his heart had been hardened already. His hurt had turned to anger and when he was about to lash out against his dad, his Father- with a tear streaming down to his fingertip- pointed to the gates. “I love you son, but you must go.”

But where would he go, you might wonder. What was outside those Heavenly Gates? “Be kind, Rewind” just a moment…

Michael and his Father were together, always, and one of their favorite past times was to work together to create things: Worlds to be exact. They loved each one, for each world was perfect. Now they didn’t just create and then abandon them. They maintained a close relationship which each world. They would invite the ambassadors from these worlds to Heaven for a little pow-wow of “How are things going?” It was always the same response, “Wonderful Father, Glory be Your Name!” and Lucifer’s choir would rejoice, sending vibrations of pure love throughout the multiverse. One day, Michael sighed, “Dad, I have an idea. Let’s create one more world…. But this one will be different…. Hear me out, let’s make them in Our image! It will be amazing! We’ll walk and talk with them and they will love being apart of this family. What do you say?” So they began their quest in making the most epic masterpiece of all… Earth. They worked tirelessly everyday so that each aspect would be precise and each detail would be “just right.” On the seventh day, when they were complete, they stood back and smiled. It was beautiful! Their hearts filled with pride and joy, for this world was the manifestation of their love for each other and an extension of their family.

When Lucifer perceived that their love for this new world seemed to surpass the love they had for him, it was the moment his heart finally froze and shattered into pieces.

At least two new love stories begin in this new world: The love between heaven and humanity and the love of the first twin flames. Adam and Eve were unique from other beings because of their connection with each other. In the other worlds, the beings were created separately and without a familial bond. However, she came from him: “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh.” They were a single flame living in multiple dimensions, which meant they loved unconditionally, were in union with Tao or the Great Spirit, and manifested their wants and desires. They would walk and talk daily with the Father and Michael, whose divine and unconditional love was the fuel to their flame. But the Father knew that true love came with trust and a choice. So he had tested each world with a command, if they loved him in return, they would trust him, thus follow his directive. He placed two trees in their garden. One that would give them eternal life. Another that would ban them from eternity. He told them not to go near or eat of the second tree. He did not tell them that it would separate them from Him because He wanted them to simply trust that He loved and protected them.

Michael enjoyed watching the dynamic between Adam and Eve. Adam was attentive and she would respond in kind. When they gazed into each others eyes, it was as if the world stood still and they could communicate without uttering a word. They trusted and loved each other as if the other were Oneself. Even during physical distance, they were always together in the dimensions that disallow the separation of spirit. This timeless love encompassed the whole of their garden as a warm protective light and nothing could sever their love… Or so they thought.

As the other created beings from all the worlds would visit heaven for Counsel, so too did Adam. He represented this new world and came to glorify God. Yet, during each visit, he felt uncomfortable, as if someone were glaring at him. He wasn’t just imagining it. Lucifer had his contemplative eye on that which Michael loved, plotting to pull them away from Him. He wanted to hurt Michael as much as he was hurt by His place on the right of Father. He wanted the other beings to honor him instead. But how… How could he make loyal creatures betray their Creator and follow him? He finally knew how he’d do it! He practiced first on other angels in Heaven, gaining their loyalty to follow him “when the time comes.” When he saw Adam as the representative for Earth, he knew it was his window, so he lashed out against the Father, who banished him. In Lucifer’s mind, it was the first phase of Project Prince of Earth, where he would be loved above all else!

Once he and his brigade fell to earth, they set up camp outside the boundaries of Eden. In order for his plan to work, he needed to perfect his powers on earth. Time did not exist within the garden so he wasn’t in a rush, he strove for perfection rather than progress. Lucifer was at a disadvantage because although he could manipulate energy, he could not create from nothing. So he spent millennia taking “that which was already there and living” and attempted to mold his own beings, but they never had the intellect, emotional maturity, and energetic power of that despised flame union. They couldn’t, because they weren’t created in the image of God nor did they have the pure love from His breath for their life. Lucifer even tried using angelic DNA to spark the intellect and power of the Neanderthals but he couldn’t come close to the perfection that the Father and Michael had created. When he became frustrated, he’d fly to the top of the highest mountain to contemplate his next move. He’d orchestrate a symphony from the wind as a way to clear his mind. When his song was over, he thought, “If only they had knowledge of how wonderful I am, they’d love me too.” Suddenly it dawned on him, “That’s it! Knowledge.”

Lucifer knew he had to make them aware of the whole story: The good and the bad! They knew about Heaven since Adam had travelled there for Counsel and they knew about all things in the garden… But they weren’t aware of the whole world outside their “bubble.” Adam hadn’t been to Counsel since Lucifer’s rebellion so they weren’t privy to his demise. From his perspective, God was “unjust and unfair” and the other created beings needed to know it. If he could make them see that their beloved Father didn’t love them as much as they thought he did, then they would know that he was right and worthy of their love!

So he travelled to the east where he met his brother Uriel. “I’ve come to speak with Adam, let me in Brother.” But when Uriel closed his eyes, Lucifer felt the message of God speak to his shattered heart: “My son, you have betrayed me. But I love you still. You may not walk upon the grounds of this Holy place, but there is one place that I will allow you to go: The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.” And so he changed his form to the most beautiful creature: A magnificent winged serpent with colors that dazzled in the sunlight. This would surely get the attention of Adam.

There came a time when Adam was naming the animals. As the steward of the earth, it was his duty to remind them with his energy and intent that he had dominion over them. He enjoyed spending time with them. Eve fancied her walks in the garden and doing her part to care for the animals too. She would give her energy to the plants and animals to sustain their vibrancy. All was as it should be. Until one day when Eve heard a faint melody.

It was the most magnificent and hypnotizing song she had ever heard! Although not by his side, she expressed her delight to Adam through their shared spirit: He had heard it too. They revelled in their joy and glorified God for what they thought He had gifted them. Adam simply returned to his duty, enjoying the peace it brought him. Eve on the other hand, felt her emotions bubble up and she started to dance. As she bounded, twirled and hummed along, she sensed the song getting louder. “Strange,” she thought. For a song from the Father would emanate throughout and within the garden. This song seemed to be coming from one spot. Her curiosity spiked and she followed it. Alas, she came to the center of the garden and froze. She looked upon the lush tree, towering in front of her. Her world began to blur yet the tree remained a crisp vision before her.

“Where is Adam?” Eve looked around to where the voice came from. It wasn’t the Father or Michael’s voice, she knew that… but who else could it be? Her eyes centered on a beautiful winged creature. She had never seen anything like it anywhere in the garden: Adam had not yet named this exquisite thing. She reached out to touch it when it spoke again, “Is Adam not with you?” It could talk!! This indeed was marvelous: None of the other animals could speak! She stepped back, suddenly realizing that this tree… this was the forbidden tree! She stumbled on her words, “Of course. He is always with me.”

“Yes, of course he is, Father would not have made it any other way.”

“Father? What do you mean? You are merely a creature. I did not know you called Him Father.”

“My dear, there is so much you don’t know.” Then with a quick transition to another subject, he divulged, “You know, you have such a lovely spirit about you. I can tell you are the apple of Adam’s eye.”

“Peace to you fair creature,” she blushed, a sensation she had never experienced before. She thought of Adam and sent him a message of love. “But,” she added, “What do you mean, ‘there is so much we don’t know’? Father and Michael walk and talk with us often, as a matter of fact, we will commune with them soon. I shall tell them about your kindness.”

“Oh no, no,” the creature retorted, “That is not necessary. They know already. Actually, they have always known but have not told you.”

“Told me what? They must have good reason not to if they haven’t,” she tried to defend her Creators, but the curiosity was insurmountable. The creature slithered around one of the pieces of fruit that hung low on a branch, the weight of him pulling it down closer to her reach.

“Oh, I shouldn’t say,” he began, “but it’s just not fair that you don’t know.” He paused. “Alright… look around, listen, touch, all these things you sense, but you cannot fully appreciate them. Father has made it so you cannot truly experience the beauty that surrounds you.”

“That doesn’t make sense, Father loves us and has given us everything!”

“No my dear, he hasn’t. There is a whole world out there beyond these garden walls. Here let me show you.” He slithered down around her arm and as he touched her, she was immediately entranced in a vision of another world, unlike her garden, she felt unusual sensations of what we know to be hot and damp. There was lush foliage and giant animals roaming the land. When she came out of that state, she was baffled: Why wouldn’t Father tell us about this? Why was he hiding it from us? Again, she stepped away from the tree, now a heaviness weighed her down and the inside of her head began to spin with conversations that had not been had.

“I must go.” She was scared but she didn’t know to call it that. She tried to contact Adam but her telepathy was somehow blocked by the chaos in her head. She felt very… alone. She needed to find Adam so she turned to go, but the creature was still wrapped around her arm. It squeezed, “Wait! I mean, please don’t go my fair and lovely woman. It will not harm you. I know these feelings are new, but I am here with you. Please. Tell me, what do you feel?” She relaxed in the moment her eyes met the creatures. They were mesmerizing and they made her powerless against his will. “There you go. Find comfort in me. I will protect you. They have withheld the truth from you, but I would never do that.” He loved her attention. He loved that she became putty of his desires. His plan was working. “You want to know more, don’t you?” She nodded, her gaze still locked on his; for this is the only comfort she felt in this isolation. “Father told you not to eat of this tree because he didn’t want you to know. Here,” he pulled the fruit down once more and motioned for her to pick it. “This fruit will take you on a journey to explore all of the unknown. Once you eat it, Father and Michael cannot hide the truth from you anymore. You shall be like them: You were created in Their image, so now you will have the complete compendium of understanding. Don’t worry, taste it, I will be here for you.” He had entranced her as a way to entice her toward a desire for more, but he knew it had to be her choice to eat of the fruit. So he lifted his spell and her senses went back to the way it had always been. She looked around, listened, and touched, but it felt different. It was less pleasurable to give her energy to the plants and animals, she felt she needed to preserve it for herself because she wanted to get back on the ride and giving it away would make her feel empty. She considered asking Adam but she feared he wouldn’t understand because he hadn’t experienced what she had experienced. She needed to know more.

Oh, it was the most delicious fruit that had ever touched her lips. Slowly, the reality of what had been unknown unfolded in another trance-like vision. It began in her present moment and proceeded to rewind into a hierarchy of events. She again saw the world outside the garden and the angel that protected the gates. She saw the brilliance of the union with Adam and the family that was formed when they were created. She saw the other worlds and the trees that tested them too. Then, she saw it: Lucifer’s rebellion. She felt the jealousy and envy toward Michael that had filled his heart. She felt the pain of the Father when He had to banish His son. A breeze swirled past her body and she sensed its coolness. Her heart pounded as if ready to burst. “Creature are you here?” She begged for his comfort, but he was no where to be found. The tree looked darker and cast a shadow on where she stood. The moment of time… began.

Adam came running toward her, “Eve, my love, here you are! I couldn’t sense you: Something is wrong! My love, your body is bare!” She broke down sobbing with shame for having left his spiritual presence to journey with the creature. When he held her and their bodies touched, he too felt bare and in looking down saw that he was naked. “Don’t worry, I am here.” Those words, a comfort before, became a thorn in her heart. Her trust in the creature had been betrayed and now she could not bring herself to trust anyone, not herself, not Adam. She held him tighter so that he couldn’t leave her. “Come with me, love.” He already felt the changes because when she pierced the fruit, he too ingested its poison. “See what I have seen.” He loved her with his entire soul and could not imagine existence without her, so he too bit into the fruit.

At that moment, a loud thunderous earthquake rattled the earth and split not only the ground but also their consciousness. Unity became dualism. The spirit of the flame was broken into two. They felt the darkness and yes, it brightened the light, but it also pushed it farther away from their experience. “We must tell Father,” Eve confessed, she now knew that the creature had deceived her. “I didn’t think that you would understand but you did: Father too will understand.” But Adam’s ego had already taken hold, “He won’t understand, we must hide this from him, like He hid it from us. I am here with you. Isn’t that enough?” Her love for him was so great that she couldn’t go against his wishes despite feeling it to be wrong. She would follow him as he had followed her. The intensity of their love came from the divine love, yet now they could not be in the presence of such purity and perfection: It was scary and their shame told them they were not worthy, so they began to chase and run from the intensity of that divine love.

“Adam? Where are you? I couldn’t sense you: Something is wrong!” The words rang in Adam’s ears like an echo of when he sought his beloved Eve. He grabbed Eve’s hand and ran to hide, but he knew that he could not hide from his omniscient Father. “Here we are.” He bowed his head in shame so that he would not meet the eyes of his Creator. He listened to their story and how the beautiful creature had seduced Eve to serpentine their pure and perfect course. This troubled the Father, but because He was indeed a just and loving parent, he could not let their disobedience go without consequence. So, with a tear streaming down to his fingertip, he pointed to the gate, “I love you son, but you must go.”

And so He waits: He waits for all of His children- including Lucifer- to return to the unity of His love, to accept the order and birthright, and to reject dualism in their hearts and minds. He waits for these Love stories to play out happy endings.

Lucifer continues to sing from the depressed, angry, and lonely hearts of the people, but he longs for his place on the left hand of the Father… but his pride and hurt have made the barrier too thick: The wall of his heart is too high. Just as he cries out in melodies and harmonies, so too do the Children of Light who burn as One Flame exude the inspired love that fills their hearts in hopes to right our course: “Imagine there’s no heaven. It’s easy if you try. No hell below us. Above us only sky. Imagine all the people. Living for today… Living life in peace… Sharing all the world… You may say I’m a dreamer. But I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will be as One” (Need I reference it? Or do we all know?).

Imagine the dualism disappears into unity once more. Imagine we live for love in the moment rather than what we will be rewarded or denied in the end. Living in trust. Sharing One spirit in Tao where our love exists as a single flame rather than two. The Father sent His Son to take our place and pay for our transgressions so that we would continue to live and love within the divine connection- so that His Begotten Son could be that bridge or connection between the Father and His beloved children: So that we again could be as One… Family. Represented by Michael… in Heaven.

How will you continue in this love story?

A Chat with My Old Friends

What’s the harm in trusting that someone loves me? I mean really? Why can’t I do it? Is it the fear that his love will be ripped out from beneath me when I least expect it? Am I terrified that he will change his mind on a whim or when a pretty young thing waltzes by giving him “the look”? Does it have to do with my self-confidence? Or his worthiness of my trust? Is it that I really don’t trust myself or is it that I can’t trust someone else? Let’s ask our buddy Pascal: What are your thoughts?

“Well, if the romantic does not trust her partner and her partner loves her, then she sabotages possible bliss, but if he doesn’t love her, then she dodges a bullet. If the romantic does trust her partner and her partner doesn’t really love her, then she may experience momentary happiness but will soon discover the truth and sorrow will ensue. But, she will get over it. Yet, if she trusts and it turns out that he truly loves her, then their shared love will grow deeper and stronger. And that is not something I would ever want to miss!”

I getcha, it is best to put my money on love! Thanks. But won’t I be made to look silly or be the fool if I openly love him when I’m not sure about his love for me?

“Might I interject, my beloved Arete?” Why yes, Aristotle… It’s so good to hear from you again, gosh, what’s it been? About 2370 years? You haven’t aged a bit! “As I was saying, my beloved, you must put on your crown!” What do you mean? Do you mean think or reason more? “No, no, the crown of Pride: You are a virtuous woman. You could never be the fool when you demonstrate the virtue of self-respect. You must think highly of yourself, you are a queen and should be treated as such.” Oh, yeah. Yeah! I am! Thanks man. And hey, you think when I go to Greece you could give the lowdown on the best local spots for authentic cuisine?

Okay, so the consensus is that it would be better to trust and to uphold my self-respect as being worthy of love! Well, how do I know that he is worthy of my love? I mean, the Bible says not to “give your pearls to swine” so I don’t want to give my adoration to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

“You will know by his character. He will be trustworthy if he follows Me: Is he sincere, honest, reliable? Does he keep his promises? I would never forsake you, does he?” Lord, thank you for leading him.

But people change their minds. What if he changes his mind? “If it is true that he loves you, then heed my wisdom: Love is infinite, eternal. Why is it eternal? It was never born; thus it can never die. Why is it infinite? It has no desires for itself; thus it is present for all beings… let go of yourself and you will be perfectly fulfilled. Open yourself to love, then trust your natural responses; and everything will fall into place.” Woah, Lao Tzu, dude… You just took it to a whole new level.

“J’aime, donc je suis.” Yes! I totally agree. But Descartes, you realize that not everyone here speaks French. Here, let me translate: I love, therefore I am. Love is what makes us come alive: It is the essence of our existence! “Yes, yes, and you must have complete and utter faith in that love or else life is not worth living.” Soren, do we really need to get that dark? hahaha just kidding. You’re right. You know, if I can’t trust love- it’s process, it’s heart ache, it’s joy, then this claim “to love” is only in vain.

“Hope.” Did you say something Erik? “You must resolve this dispute between trust and mistrust so that you build hope. Do you believe that perhaps your mistrust and fear of abandonment may have to do with your early relationship with your mother?” “No, no, zit is her oral fixation. Zat is vhy she gets zo much gratification vfrom ze tasting and sucking.” Woah woah woah Freud, simmer down man that is some personal shit your telling everyone there. Jeese… Erik, I’m sorry. What were you saying?

“I was just getting to the fact that in order to love, you first must know yourself through a well developed identity, which can only be done in the context of our social relationships; therefore, you must get to know others in order to understand who you are. And so that you can know them enough to determine their level of trustworthiness.” I love you Erik. You always know how to bring it back around. hahaha.

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” Ah, thanks Maya.

And thank you to all my old friends, for sharing your wisdom on this issue. Before we go, let me sum it up. So, here’s what I’ve got so far…

I’ve got to know- and exude that I know- my worth! I’ve got to just… Take a leap of faith and trust, maybe not in the person- that will come as love manifests in their character- but, I must trust in love because that is why we exist…. Amen.

Be Love.

Love is my mental illness

When I can’t stop the fight to reach the light of your soul. When I disappear so you don’t hear my heart fall asunder. When I trek on and on in this role despite the ache rolling through my chest like thunder.

A little crazy never hurt no one.

How I let you go every other day: I cannot stay it seems. How I cling to the fling that was a red hot flame. How I see you in my dreams and hope for the long-lasting steady burn of your love game.

A dash of insanity could be fun.

Why I obsess and overthink over my fear of rejections: Your affections are my reprieve. Why I request of Amor, a bequest from above. Why I get so worked up and try to leave until your spirit mingles with mine to command, “Be still my love.”

A pinch of madness is better than none.

Darlin’ I’m nuts about you. But when you’re gone… This love is my mental illness.