I’ve just grown up knowing that God was there.

That His Grace and Love are everywhere.

I want to believe that He leads my way,

That it’s not just a random sort-of-day.

But then all the connections I have felt with people, places, and things,

Turn out to be only my imaginings.

Maybe the One I pray to is just in my mind

Maybe He doesn’t exist since He’s so hard to find.

Because those beliefs that He tells me to hold true

Never work out… They never do.

So perhaps that’s why he doesn’t love me

Perhaps that’s why someone else is buying that property.

Because none of it is real, it’s all in my head.

But I guess I’ll have these delusions ’til I’m dead.

My hope feels lost if it’s all just chance.

There’s no divine plan, it’s all just happenstance.

I just want to disappear – get away from everyone.

Fuck it all: If connections aren’t real then I’m done.